TALKING STICK & TALKING CIRCLES

-Marti

TALKING STICK & TALKING CIRCLES
The teaching of the Talking Stick is an exquisite example of the combined sacredness of the Talking Circle and the Five Codes of Ethics, in particular Non-Interference and Anger Not be Shown. When the Talking Stick is passed around the circle it is an action that is overtly indicative of the respect that we have toward the concept of harmony, balance and good manners among Humans, The Great Mystery and Mother Earth. The Talking Stick is a symbol of respect for the thoughts, stories and individual histories of each member participating in the circle.
Whoever is holding the stick speaks their truth at that moment in their personal history, The role of the rest of the participants is to sit quietly and engage in active listening. No one else should interrupt while the person holding the Talking Stick is speaking. When the individual has finished speaking (however long that takes), the Talking Stick is handed to the next person in the circle. If the receiver chooses not to speak, she simply hands it to the next person until the Talking Stick has been passed to everyone participating. In this way each person has had the opportunity to Speak and to Listen. The Talking Stick does not have to be a fancy, beaded Stick, It can simply be something that has been found in nature that has personal meaning. Thunderbird's favourite items are, a ‘Talking Stone’, a wonderful round stone she found on the beach of Haida G’wai (Queen Charlotte Islands); A small, beautiful totem pole that was carved especially for her by a friend. Always remember that what is said in the circle remains there.
THE CIRCLE: There are different kinds of Talking Circles and they generally start the same way. The convener opens the circle with a smudging ceremony and prayer. The convener usually sits in the East. If it is a 'mixed' circle, men sit in the north, women in the west, youth in the south.
The Circle is NOT a debating society, it is not used as a dialogue between or among participants. The circle is to allow each person to speak their truth in a place of confidence and safety. All anger, jealousy, hate, anguish must be left outside the circle so that a feeling of calm, kinship and kindness can dominate the proceedings. The circle is symbolic of the Medicine Wheel where no one is more prominent than any other person, all are equal and there is no beginning and no end, so that all words spoken are accepted and respected on an equal basis. Each individual can speak for as long as she/h chooses, although if it is a large circle, the Convener will remind everyone of time and fatigue, particularly for older participants, such as Elders.
Honesty, Truth, Courage, Wisdom, Humility, Honor, Trust, Respect, Love are the themes used as each person seeks to find balance, healing and harmony in their lives.
SHARING/CARING CIRCLE. This is the most common circle. There is no common theme but rather a time of reflection where Individuals come together and speak whatever is in their hearts in a place of safety.
HEALING CIRCLE. The most powerful circle of all. The Convener gently helps Individuals speak their truths however painful. Sometimes the circle has been convened to assist only one Individual. Even so, everyone present benefits in a variety of different ways.
MEDIATION CIRCLE. These are circles convened to mediate between Individuals or groups.
TALKING CIRCLE PROTOCOL:
As noted above, the circle is not a place for anger or accusation or debate. Speak from the 'first person only and in your own truth'.
Introduce yourself first, first name, last name, both, whatever you are comfortable with. It's just a polite thing to do.
REMEMBER: when holding the Talking Stick, you are the only one allowed to speak; everyone else listens with respect, support, compassion and quietness.
There's an TV ad which says, 'what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Well, the same rule applies to the circle - what goes on in the circle, stays in the circle! Participants should not leave with the idea of telling others about what went on. Individuals speak in the circle with absolute trust and honesty and rely on the discretion of all participants.
If there are Native Elders present, they should be given a gift of tobacco